Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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