Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
