Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
