i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
