You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
