I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
