I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
