I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize