He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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