Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
