Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize