i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
