The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
