I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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