Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
