We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Green mimosas i think yes
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
