didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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