no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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