I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
