Define "chronic" masturbator.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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