Porn is love you can see.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
