You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
