Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
ttyl tear gas
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
