so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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