i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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