I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
