Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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