He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
