Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
