you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
