Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
