ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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