what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
