Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
