Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
as a side note pls kill me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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