so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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