if you like me you must not know who I am
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
