It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
