Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
