her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
