I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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