do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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