idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
