Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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