I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize