I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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