Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
