Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
