I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
