Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
