I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
