i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
