Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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