so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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