wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
