Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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