she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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