White coat. Heels.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
