okay pat passed out under dana's car
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
