he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
