420 ftw
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
