the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
