Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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